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Taproot issue 51 - June 2006

Ways to Encourage Honesty

When you suspect your child is lying, trying to force a confession will often make the situation worse. Statements like, “Don’t lie to me,” send a message of disapproval and could close the lines of communication between you and your child, says Carolyn Saami, PH.D. Here are better ways to encourage honesty.

Child’s lie: “I did my homework on the bus.”

Wrong Response: “I don’t believe you. You couldn’t have done it that quickly.”

Right Response: “Let’s go over it together.”

Lie; “I didn’t break the window with my ball. It must have been the wind.”

Wrong: “That’s crazy. I know you’re lying, so just admit what you did."

Right: “I think you’re afraid I’ll be angry, but I understand that accidents happen. It’s important for you to be honest with me so we can find a way to fix it.”

Lie: “I didn’t get my report card. They must be giving them out late this year.

Wrong: “I spoke with Sam’s mother and she said he got his.”

Right: “Let call the school and make sure it didn’t get lost or get sent home with someone else.”

 

Lie: “My friend said I could have her favorite Barbie for keeps.”

Wrong: “There’s no way she would give that to you. I want you to give the toy back tomorrow.”

Right: “That was so nice of her, but I think she was being too generous. Let’s call her mom and discuss it.”

COAC Reports Nov – Dec 2003